I’ll admit, Falon Ballard is one of my favorite authors, and it was such a treat to read not only a holiday romance but one where the main characters are both romance writers! I felt like she took this opportunity to give a lot of insight into her process, the realities of being an author, and the overall support of the community. With “All I Want Is You,” she allowed us a peek behind the curtain to see the inner workings of an author’s mind, the pressure they face (I had no idea about the sophomore slump), and how much goes into something we readers devour in an afternoon!

It may have been five years since Jessica had her heart destroyed at Christmas (okay, technically, the breakup was two weeks after Christmas, but it still counts), and while time is supposed to heal all wounds, the devastation of that heartbreak has put a dark cloud over the holidays. Attempting to ignore another reminder of a heartache that just won’t seem to go away, Jessica tries her best to get into the holiday spirit, putting up her tree and hanging her stocking with care. It’s better than focusing on the book – or lack thereof – that doesn’t seem to want to magically appear. Despite searching everywhere, inspiration is determined to hide, and time isn’t on her side. To make matters worse, an email to end all emails arrives in her inbox. Not only does she have to attend an awards ceremony for SVP as a presenter, but she also has to present the Romance Writer of the Year award to none other than Nick Matthews. While many names may come to mind when she thinks of him – fraud, snake, charlatan, jerk – the ex that made her think of forever and pulled the rug from under her is the first. Oh – but it doesn’t stop there! A quick DM from Nick stokes an unexpected creative flame that just may be what she needs. Determined to find inspiration absolutely anywhere else, and not withstanding changing her identity and going into the witness protection program, she concedes to the demands of her agent to play nice for the sake of her upcoming book and reputation. What’s one night? She can do this. Go on stage, spew out a few lies about how he is simply the best, and go back to her life working at the coffee shop and agonizing over a book that’s pulling inspiration from the absolutely wrong place. The problem is, the weather has other things in mind. What should have been a quick in-and-out has now turned into a winter wonderland, trapping her at the inn. Oh, it just keeps getting better as the inn doesn’t have her reservation, and she is stuck sharing a room with none other than Nick. She has no desire to make amends, forgive and forget, and move on. She just needs to get out of the weekend in one piece – heart included.

I loved how this was a slow burn with constant kindling being thrown on it. There’s an undertone of a secret throughout, and each moment Nick has to think about it, share it, and feel pressured by it – the magnitude of what that secret could possibly be grows stronger and stronger. Similarly, you slowly see the decline of Jess’s resolve as she’s forced to keep the anger in the past with the evidence of the present. I get it – she saw forever with this man, and out of nowhere, he just calls it quits and walks away. How do you trust anything he says and does when all of it feels like a facade based on past events? I enjoyed the banter between the two characters, the secondary characters, and the overall energy of the book. You’d think being trapped in an inn would cause the book to feel mundane and stagnant, but somehow Falon kept the energy up the entire time. Whether it was situations and conversations at breakfast, an accidentally scheduled couples massage, or the elaborate avoidance game – we were constantly filling this space.

This one was definitely a lot spicier than the books I’ve read by Falon Ballard in the past. Normally, her books are pretty hot and heavy when the moment calls for it, but the tension throughout this book was vocalized and abundant. Not a bad thing at all, and I don’t think it’s all too different from what I recall of her books in the past, but it was definitely more at the forefront, especially with word choice.

I loved the exploration of “what if” and regret in this story. Five years have passed since Nick made a decision for both of them that would change their lives. Falon presents the timeline with quick looks back at Christmases past and the character interaction in the present. By doing this, we can see the solid foundation between these two – the love they shared, the appreciation, the admiration, and also the divide between the growth of one’s career and the stagnant nature of the other. With this knowledge, when presented with what tore them apart, we have a better understanding of why Nick did what he did. Was it right? It was a choice made without knowing what the future held. Consider it a sliding doors moment. If he had moved forward with proposing to Jess and she had said yes, would people have assumed she only got her book deal because of him? Would she have resented him because of his success? Would he have been a household name, having been engaged or married versus a bachelor? We can only assume the actions he took were a success based on the present they now live in. For Jess, even being separated from Nick, her career did not take off as she wanted. Working at a coffee shop to make ends meet, she more than likely would have resented him for his success – she did – even being apart. She was secretly proud of how far he had come but loathed how he was succeeding in an industry where she was floundering. From past to present, we only see that her viewpoint and outcome for him would have remained the same, just at a safer distance versus directly impacting their relationship. For Nick, we see how his audience responds to how he writes and who he is, but we also hear how that time is running its course. So we indirectly get validation that Marcus’s assessment was correct but not for the long term. We also see the argument between her two friends validate what we are learning about Jess – that even if Nick had talked to her, she wouldn’t have made him choose his career over her; she would have supported him despite how it would have impacted her and understands she would have grown to resent him, which would have destroyed their relationship. So in the end, as the reader, Falon does a fantastic job setting us up to accept the inevitable. What happened needed to happen so they could be stronger for it and be together in the present.

With that being said, as much as I loved this book, the one thing that plagued me about the ending was one simple question – where the heck was Nick waiting this entire time? Jess reads the endings to all of his books, then reads their entire book together. Assuming it’s an average-length book, and even if she is a speed reader, that should take at least three hours. It’s almost midnight, and she calls him, and within a second, he is there. Again, where was he? He had no idea she was going to call, if or when she was going to read the book, or how fast she would read it. Was he just sitting in the hallway of her apartment complex for hours? I know they make jokes about plot holes through the story, but that one right at the end pulled away from that last chapter because despite the reunion we have been waiting for, the second chance we were hoping for, it was overshadowed by me consistently saying, “No, wait. Where was he this whole time?!”

“All I Want Is You” was nothing short of a feel-good, holiday romantic comedy where you not only feel closer to the romance author community but may walk away with newfound respect for those who have the ability to make us laugh, cry, and fume with a few simple strokes of the keyboard. While this one was a little on the shorter side, it was just as impactful, and as always, I can’t wait to read what Falon has up her sleeve next – though now I’ll be a little more patient!